Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize