Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im six kinds of drunk right now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
