it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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