I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
