2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
