yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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