i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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