So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
