I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
