No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
