I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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