I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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