i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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