All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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