Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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