How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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