from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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