The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
