i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
