OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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