I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
