his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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