ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
