Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want to be your penis for a week.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
