Me too!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
