First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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