I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
