Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
