I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
