i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
