he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
