They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize