I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
