Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
