wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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