No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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