I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize