Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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