Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize