Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
