I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
