One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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