remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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