she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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