You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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