Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's shark week go big or go home
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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