It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
