we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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