it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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