My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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