thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
