she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
