There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
