i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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