Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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