some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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